School Holiday

Excuse my ugly face okay its been awhile since the last time my blog was updated oh before that Assalamualaikum and hi bloggers :)  well its December dy time flies so fast this year i cant o.o 2013 is gonna end soon yea a year full with dramas, tears and lots of memories <3 and guess what I read my previous posts hahahahahahahhaha i was so emotional and sensitive last time Ya Allah whats wrong with me help my prev posts about "unimportant" "unwanted" and blabla hahahaha ok enough but now I'm getting matured day by day ceh (( not really )) wtv idek what I'm talking right now yep I'm freaking bored here . umm and yeay I have returned to my old habit which is reading novel till' late night or staying up all night just because of novel yep so-called bad habit :p psh and and and I just want the old me back. . . . . . where i dont care about everything i just do anything to make myself happy and all my friends were being cray with me hm i still remember we played hockey (( using broom and duster )) in class during extra class until our teacher came in and she scolded us hahahaha and that moment when we played "twister" while I was wearing baju kurung that time hahahaha omg i don't even care about my look that time hahahaha i dont care as long i can play that thingy lol and we played "batu seremban" outside the class during recess while we were jaga (( pengawas duty )) until the head prefect came and took our batu seremban lol that moment // being a prefect during primary school is the best thing ever because we dont have to do our duty except after we get scolded by teacher heheh I've been a prefect since i was standard 2 and more than hundred times i get scolded by teachers heheheh I'm such a badass sigh i miss my childhood so bad :( and one more that moment when i forgot my pidato script on the stage in front of 500 students oh great the most embarrassing moment for the rest of my life luckily i didnt cry after that . i smiled but inside only Allah knows how i feel that time. my headmistress was so disappointed with me and especially my bm teacher hm she put a lot of effort on me idek why i suddenly cant remember anything maybe I'm too nervous ? or idk but nah past is past :) I miss being a little kid um life goes on . I wish I was still happy like I used to be . I'm not sad but overthinking does make me feel sad all the time thats all for today bye my english sucks wtv aint nobody got time for that aha Adios

Sincerely Najwa ♡

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hmm I'm a very insecure person. I have very low self esteem. And I find its hard to trust people nowdays. Ive made mistakes in the past and I've learned to live with them. I've learned to accept people for who they really are. It's not hard actually. Sometimes I can't be bothered anymore and sometimes I don't even want to be alive. But the thing is I have a million reasons to believe and I just haven't found them yet. I've liked, I've loved and I've been hurt. And I have hurt people well I'm not perfect. I think to much and it kills me inside.

Wey hey

 

Assalamualaikum and hi. fuyoo lama jugak I tak update blog . hehe so idk what to update about . anyway, kak Hanim read my blog . Ya Allah malunya . hahaha xD seriously, I thought no one from my school read my blog so I can express my feelings here but but Kak Hanim found my blog . o mai gerd :p nahh it's okay I trust Kak Hanim :) so school was okay not bad lah . but I used to love to go to school but now I'm not in the mood to go to school. idek why. hmm maybe I grew up. but my friends said I've changed. am I ? people always tell me that I look sad and tired. Am I ? I'm not sure if I'm depressed or what. I mean I'm not sad. But I'm not exactly happy either. I can laugh and joke and smile during the day, but sometimes when I'm alone at night I forget how to feel. I want to be happy but I think of things that make me sad. hmm

Idk whats wrong with me. I'm a conflicted contradiction . at this age, everything is changing. maybe we don;t realized it. day by day we don't notice. hmm i guess so. well the problem is I give myself very good advices but I seldom follow it. well typical me. nah they can see my smile, not my pain. well that's all for today. I gotta go. so bye xx 

Sincerely Najwa ♡